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Both of the reasons above are just misconceptions about feminism, so if your partner is willing to learn then I see no reason to hit the brakes on your relationship.It’s also really important to remember that although we should be proud of the word feminism for everything it has achieved, it is still just a word, and actions speak louder than words.There’s no way someone can think that of *me* specifically, not anyone who has read my “Push The Button” series or my other writings about BDSM.I write about the intersection of feminism and BDSM because I tap dance on that corner for spare change every single day.Sometimes, though, the things I and others like me say fall on deaf ears.Some people, some men especially, refuse to accept that feminism isn’t all about hating men or trying to be the dominant person in the relationship.
I texted my close friend asking what she thought and she instantly replied “how could you love a person who doesn’t believe you’re an equal?
It is who I am and I make no apologies for it, even when people think it is contradictory or not “real” feminism.
My response to that is that since we cannot define femininity or womanhood, even masculinity or manhood, objectively, no one really has any claim on what “real feminism” is and it all boils down to individual paradigms.
Maybe your boyfriend is pretty much a feminist in all of his actions, but he just hasn’t fully embraced the word yet- that’s ok.
Or maybe your boyfriend proudly calls himself a feminist but his actions don’t quite match up, which makes you feel uncomfortable- that’s not ok.