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A little later on in my transition, once I began presenting as male, I set up profiles on two mainstream dating sites, one listing myself as male without stating that I was trans, and the other listing my trans status. A few months after posting my profiles to both sites, I received a message on the site where I hadn’t disclosed that I was trans.
Some people I have spoken with say they think it’s important to disclose that you’re trans right away, while about an equal number of others say it’s better to wait to see if there is any chemistry before sharing such personal information. I made a plan to meet the woman I’d been messaging with for a coffee date.
Since I identify as a trans male, and my sexual preference is for females, I have been left with only one option in the online dating world: heterosexual.
My foray into the dating world began a couple of years ago while I was still fairly early in my transition.
On Tuesday, Los Angeles-based company announced that it’s updating its app to allow users to add more information about their gender identity.
After I came out as trans (FTM), my lesbian relationship was ending, and my first instinct was to stick mainly to gay and lesbian dating sites.
Perhaps this was out of a desire to meet and connect with people in the queer community; perhaps it was because I wasn’t totally comfortable identifying as heterosexual, despite the fact that I was a man and was attracted to women.
Plus, since I live in a small community, there aren’t many opportunities to date and less of a selection of potential partners.
And yet, the basic tools given to you by most dating sites don’t leave much room for personalization.
Tinder co-founder and CEO Sean Rad told CBS News that several of the company’s own employees shed light on the problem of in-app harassment against transgender users that many others in the company at large weren’t aware of.