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The Emperor summons before him Bodhidharma and asks: “Master, I have been tolerant of innumerable gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, transgender people, and Jews.How many Virtue Points have I earned for my meritorious deeds? The Emperor, somewhat put out, demands to know why.Unapologetically America-centric because I’m not informed enough to make it otherwise.Try to keep this off Reddit and other similar sorts of things.] I.I want to avoid a very easy trap, which is saying that outgroups are about how different you are, or how hostile you are. Compare the Nazis to the German Jews and to the Japanese.
But the Nazis and Japanese mostly got along pretty well. If you want to know who someone in former Yugoslavia hates, don’t look at the Indonesians or the Zulus or the Tibetans or anyone else distant and exotic.Bodhidharma asks: “Well, what do you think of gay people?” The Emperor answers: “What do you think I am, some kind of homophobic bigot? ” And Bodhidharma answers: “Thus do you gain no merit by tolerating them! If I had to define “tolerance” it would be something like “respect and kindness toward members of an outgroup”.But since forgiveness is generally considered a virtue, and one that many want credit for having, I think it’s fair to say you only earn the right to call yourself ‘forgiving’ if you forgive things that genuinely hurt you.To borrow Chesterton’s example, if you think divorce is a-ok, then you don’t get to “forgive” people their divorces, you merely ignore them.